How to Help an Alcoholic Who Refuses to Get Help

Most of the time, when alcoholics are offered help, they aren't ready to take it. But if people who care about them don't give up, the person will eventually realise it's time to get assistance for their drinking.

Even if you help someone you love decide to start getting better, the struggle isn't over. There are still a lot of hard and frustrating weeks and months to come. You can help them get back to a happier, healthier life, and it doesn't involve alcohol if you are supportive, patient, and kind.

There is no easy way to get a person to go to rehab. You can't make an adult go to rehab for drug or alcohol abuse, but there are some things you can do to help them get the drive they need to go on their own.

If someone you know turns down your help, don't take it personally, but don't give up on them. You might help them get back on their feet in many ways.

Tips For Dealing With An Alcoholic Who Is Refusing Treatment

When a drinker refuses to get help for their drinking problem, you might feel like you've let them down. People addicted to alcohol may not want to hear that they're experiencing a problem. Most of the time, alcoholics won't be able to get better with treatment until they admit they have a problem.

If someone you care about won't take action on their own, you may need to step in. Since this could be a sensitive situation, you should think about what you want to say and do before you act.

Use these suggestions to help you figure out how to handle the situation and get your loved one the care they need.

Recognise That You Can't Do Their Job for Them

You want the person you care about to get clean. You miss who they used to be before drugs or alcohol took over their life. You might do almost anything to make things better for them. You can't do their work for them, though. You can ask, plead, bribe, or threaten them, but they won't be able to get better until they see that their drug and alcohol use is a problem.

Educate Yourself

If you don't know what you're talking about, your addicted friend or relative will have difficulty taking you seriously or listening to what you say. To reach someone with an addiction, you should first use resources to learn about their journey. There is a lot of useful information about addiction on the internet, and there are numerous places you can go if you still have questions.

Create Safe Limits

Helping someone who has become dependent on alcohol can be a major choice, and it's important to protect your well-being in the process. Take time for yourself, and don't try to do more than you can. Make sure to tell your loved one what your limits are and keep them in mind. If they break a rule you've set up, let them know.

Here are some good examples of limits you might want to set:

• You won't tell them a lie to keep them safe.
• You won't pay for their attorney or bail if they get arrested.
• You won't give up the safety of your family or loved ones.
• You can't have drugs or alcohol in your home or near your family.

Enlist People They Trust

Many people who are addicted tell themselves that they don't have a problem and can handle it. They often don't care about what those close to them have to say. Sometimes the right words can only be said by an expert or someone from the outside. For example, a doctor or another person they trust can make a difference.

If the person you care about doesn't think their drug use is a problem, try to schedule them to the doctor for regular checkups. Tell them there's no harm in talking to someone even if they don't think they have a problem. A doctor can talk about facts without the feelings a close friend or relative might bring to the conversation. 

They will check their physical condition and talk to them about how using drugs and alcohol will affect them in the long run. They can talk clearly about what is normal drinking and what isn't and the risks that come with both. 

A doctor can tell them if they have an addiction to substances based on how much they drink or use drugs. They can also send them to a mental health professional to find out if they have bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, or personality disorders, making them more likely to use drugs or alcohol.

Be Patient

Even though it may be hard, you have to be patient. Someone who gets angry or seems impatient will likely never get along well with someone addicted. But just because you are patient doesn't mean you should let someone get away with drinking. Know when to stay calm and when to leave and set a limit.

Don't Enable Them

If you want to help an alcoholic who won't go to rehab, you first need to stop giving them money or other help they've been getting in the past. Don't invite them out for drinks, and don't drink when they are around.

If you stop enabling them and show that you want to help those get sober, they'll see you as a supportive person instead of a person they can go to if they want to get drunk.

Attempt a Medical Solution First

When someone is caught up in addiction, they quickly lose their ability to think straight. Offer or make an appointment for a regular checkup. Tell the doctor about the addiction before the appointment, and do this for more than one reason. They will better figure out what's happening and see past the person's excuses. 

Doctors will still keep patient-doctor conversations private, but they can also advise on what to do based on their medical and professional knowledge. This can be very eye-opening for an individual. When a person outside of their peer group or family circle can see problems, it has been shown to help them think more clearly. It's a wake-up call before they get too far gone.

Don't Shame or Blame

If you blame or shame your addicted loved one, they will pull away even more. When you blame and shame someone, you put them on guard. When talking to a loved one about their drug and alcohol use, using "I" phrases works much better. Talk about how their drug use affects you and the people around them. 

For instance, instead of saying, "You're ruining our family. Use "I" words. "You are ruining your life and will die from drug addiction." "I'm so sad about how hard things are for our family. Because I love you and want you to be presentable and healthy, I worry about what will occur to your well-being and future if you don't stop using drugs.

Be Prepared for Fallout After an Alcoholic Refuses Treatment

Helping someone get sober isn't always easy, especially if they don't want to. If you have to give someone consequences, you may fight with the person you are trying to help. Since alcoholism frequently comes with its own set of anger and mental health problems, you may have to leave if they get violent or break too many rules you've set up.

Acknowledge How Difficult This Is

It's terrible for everyone to be addicted or to love an alcoholic or addict. Everyone gets hurt by drug addiction and alcoholism. Addiction is a long-term disease of the brain. Right now, it's making the decisions, not your loved one. Their brain thinks they need substance abuse to live, so they do whatever they need to feed their addiction.

Understanding and accepting how hard this is for you and the person you love is important. It's easy to see why you're having trouble in all parts of your life since drug abuse can take over households and become the main focus. Treat yourself well. This is very hard, but you will make it through.

Avoid These Mistakes When Discussing Alcoholism With A Loved One

There are rules you should follow when speaking to loved ones about drinking alcohol, and there are also some things you should never do.

Do Not Argue With Your Loved One

Alcohol is bad for the brain and can make people act irrationally or on impulse. This implies that when you talk to someone with a drinking disorder, they might argue with you, refuse that there is a problem, or say things that don't make sense in response to your concern. Don't give in to the urge to argue with a loved one who is addicted. It won't help.

Avoid Blaming the Alcoholic or Making Accusations

If you're with someone who has trouble with drinking, you're probably feeling frustrated. Your loved one may have ignored family responsibilities or acted violently or badly while drunk. No matter how angry you are, blaming them or accusing them is likely to get them angry back. If you do this, they won't want to hear whatever you are saying.

Do Not Lecture

It's not likely to help to tell an addict how bad their actions are or what will happen if they keep doing them. After all, one sign of an alcohol use disorder is that the person keeps drinking even though it causes problems at work, worsens their health, and hurts their relationships.

You might want to lecture, but the truth is that if someone can't stop drinking, they are already having trouble. If they keep drinking even though it's bad for them, a lecture won't do much to change their behaviour.

Conclusion

Helping an alcoholic who refuses to get help is crucial to their healing. Even if they don't want your help, you need to be encouraging, patient, and kind. It's not easy to get someone to go to rehab, but there are ways to help them find the motivation they need to go on their own.

If a drinker refuses to get help, you can't do their job for them. They may not want to hear that they are having a problem, and you may need to step in. To help, you should learn about their path to addiction and set safe limits. Some of the rules are that you can't lie, pay for their lawyer or bail, risk your family's safety, or have drugs or drink in your home or near your family.

Having known people help someone who is addicted can make a big difference. Set up regular checkups with a doctor or someone else they trust to talk about their health and the long-term effects of drugs and drink.

They can also help figure out if they have an addiction based on how much they drink or use drugs and send them to a mental health professional to check for bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, or personality problems that may make them more likely to drink or use drugs.

Helping an alcoholic or addict means being gentle and understanding. Be patient and know when to stay cool and put a limit. Don't give them money or help in any other way, and don't ask them out for drinks. They will see you as a helpful person if you show you care and want to help them get clean.

Try a medical answer first, since addiction can make people lose their ability to think straight. Offer or schedule a regular checkup, and before the meeting, tell the doctor about the addiction. This can help them think more easily and give them a better idea of what to do.

Don't shame or blame the person who is hooked. Instead of blaming or shaming them about their drug and drink use, use "I" phrases. Use "I" words to talk about how their drug use affects you and others.

When an alcoholic refuses treatment, you should be ready for the consequences. If they get angry or break too many rules, you might have to leave if you have to give them consequences.

Admit that it's hard to help a drinker or addict. Understanding and accepting that addiction is a long-term brain problem is important. Take care of yourself and give them time.

When talking about alcoholism with a loved one, don't get into fights, point fingers, or make charges. Help the person instead of giving them a lecture. If they can't stop drinking, they are already in trouble, and a speech won't change how they act.

Content Summary

• Alcoholics often refuse help, but persistence from loved ones may eventually lead them to seek assistance.
• Helping an alcoholic recover is a long and challenging process.
• Supportive, patient, and kind behaviour can lead them back to a healthier life.
• It is impossible to force an adult to go to rehab, but encouragement may help them find the drive to go on their own.
• If help is turned down, it shouldn't be taken personally, and efforts should continue.
• Alcoholics may not seek help until they admit they have a problem.
• Stepping in to help a loved one may require careful consideration and planning.
• Recognising that you can't do the work for the person you're trying to help is essential.
• Educating yourself about addiction can make your assistance more effective.
• Creating safe limits helps in protecting your well-being while assisting the alcoholic.
• Setting examples of limits can include refusing to lie or pay legal fees for the addicted person.
• Enlisting trustworthy people like doctors or experts can sometimes make a difference.
• Regular medical check-ups and discussions about addiction can help the addicted person understand their situation.
• A doctor can provide clear information about drinking habits and related risks.
• Medical professionals can also diagnose underlying mental health conditions that may contribute to addiction.
• Patience is key, but that doesn't mean tolerating continued drinking.
• Enabling behaviour must stop, such as giving money or drinking around the addicted person.
• Showing support for sobriety can change the perception of the addicted individual.
• Medical solutions like regular checkups and professional advice can provide an objective perspective.
• Shaming or blaming the addicted person can be counterproductive.
• Using "I" phrases when talking about the impact of addiction can be more effective.
• Fallout can occur after refusing treatment, and this may include conflict or violence.
• Acknowledging the difficulty of addiction is important for both the addicted individual and their loved ones.
• Addiction takes a toll on all aspects of life and requires self-care.
• Rules and caution must be observed when discussing alcoholism.
• Arguing with an addicted person is unhelpful and should be avoided.
• Blaming or accusing the alcoholic can lead to resistance and anger.
• Lecturing an alcoholic about the consequences of their actions is unlikely to help.
• Alcoholics may act irrationally, so arguing can be fruitless.
• The persistence of a loved one can lead to realisation and treatment.
• Emotional support is vital throughout the recovery process.
• Frustration is a natural part of the process but must be managed carefully.
• Addiction is a long-term disease that controls the decision-making process.
• Helping an alcoholic requires continuous effort without giving up.
• An addict must see their drug and alcohol use as a problem to start recovery.
• Clear communication of personal limits is essential in the process.
• External professionals like doctors can offer insights that close friends or relatives may not.
• Balancing patience with firm boundaries is a delicate but necessary task.
• Discontinuing enabling behaviour shifts the support towards sobriety.
• Medical insights can be a wake-up call for the addicted individual.
• Compassionate communication without blame can build a pathway to recovery.
• The decision to seek treatment must ultimately come from the addicted person.
• Understanding the complexity of addiction is vital in offering effective help.
• Addiction affects everyone around the addicted individual, not just the person suffering.
• Avoiding mistakes in communication with an alcoholic can foster a more supportive environment.
• Professional medical advice is an essential resource in understanding and combating addiction.
• Addiction recovery is a multifaceted process that requires patience, understanding, and firmness.
• Recognising the serious impact of addiction on life and relationships can fuel the determination to help.
• Emphasising personal feelings rather than blaming can help in connecting with the addicted individual.
• Supporting an addicted person is a major decision that requires careful consideration and steadfast commitment.